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Um, doesn't exist, it takes WORK and one find Milladore of a lot of it. But when I read your stuff one thing comes through you hate the idea of that, you hate the idea that because you fucked up you lost your marriage and you lost your ability to get decent work.
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It doesn't work that way and never has, life is something that you make. So you have a decision to face, a choice wallow in it and complain or drive forward with your best effort.
That means doing the right thing even when you know it's not what you 'want'. Because you don't 'want' to go back, fuck that, back means having the same shit go on.
Really, your marriage was about being stuck but staying anyway? Sounds like bliss to me.
You're bitching about a dating scene you've lost touch with, an ex you communicate with all the time outside of the WTF gay chubs You can't even say what it is can you.
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I went to jail. You avoid and reinvent reality a lot, twist it so you don't look bad and let me tell you it doesn't sell. You need to be able to look people in the eye and speak the truth yup, I inhaled that shit and then I drank the water with a twist of lime I was and stupid and the key.
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I stopped and got my shit together, realized I knew what didn't work and so I started focusing on what. Moving forward with work, thinking about term for a carrier path, educated myself and knew it would be a HARD road to not have my wpmen behavior impact my life.
So you buckle down, '- up' and instead of bitching about the low paying job, be fucking thankful you at least have that because some don't. Be thankful you have an opportunity to be around your after you 'went away' for a spell.
Be a father to them for that alone and not so you can get back with her fuck it. Get good with you Swinhing. you alone by being the best you with what you have today, every day.
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